"How Superman Spends His Days Off"
Superman Vol. 1 #36

With all the problems going on across the globe you'd think that Superman never gets a rest, but this issue proves otherwise! See how the man of steel spends his free time!

Superman: Ooops. Looks like I dropped another jar, Lois. Heh. Heh.
Lois: Will you stop already? Please close that refrigerator door, you've been holding it open all morning!
Superman: Whatever. When you're done cleaning all this up, come to the bathroom. I'll be lounging against the sink and squeezing a tube of toothpaste onto the carpet.

"Superman's Power Of Flight Is Reversed In China"
Superman Vol. 1 #45

A trip to China has Superman down... literally! Will the inexplicable reversal of his flight power leave him six feet under?

Superman: So it's been opposite day all along, and this has nothing to do with China?
Cio-Cio San: No!
Superman: (spits out a mouth full of noodles) A-wha?
Everyone: Hahaha!

"The Corked Bat"
Superman Vol. 1 #66

When Superman's bat breaks during the World Series, his bid for a spot in the Baseball Hall Of Fame is thrown into jeopardy!

Umpire: This bat has been corked!
Superman: Is that not allowed?
Umpire: No.
Superman: Well then, it's not my cork. I mean, it is, but I was just keeping it in my bat because I was going to cork some wine bottles later and I don't have any pockets to hold the cork. I had no idea that putting cork in a bat makes the ball go further.
Umpire: There's cocaine in here too.
Superman: Is that not allowed?

"Superman Versus Perry Como"
Superman Vol. 1 #67

No lady can resist the romantic crooning of Perry Como, including Lois Lane! How can Superman possibly compete with this ladies' man?

Perry Como: (singing) Ooooh sweetheart, my ladybird, my hooooneypieeee....
Lois Lane: Oh, Perry! You're the dreamiest!
Superman: That Perry Como fella sure boils my blood, but I can't punch him in the schnoz for singing. I know how to handle him! Let's see that jerk try to romance Lois when her face is covered in bruises.

"Rendering Aquaman Completely Useless"
Superman Vol. 1 #139

Superman ditches Lois for a sizzling hot mermaid, using one of his little-known powers to transform his legs and reproductive organs into lumpy scales and a fish tail even though he could effortlessly propel himself through the water as he does through the air. Will his new life under the sea with a fishy vixen be everything he hoped for?

Fisherman: You won't believe the size of the bastard I reeled in the other day.

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)

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