I'll Give You a Box of Chocolates If You Kill Me
I've spent the last seven hours watching, capturing, and reviewing the abomination "Troll 3" just for you, the readers. Please excuse me if today's news update isn't up to par. I'm going to throw myself in front of traffic and pray my brain is first to get crushed.
GREEN FOAM HATS!
You'll notice "trolls" are not mentioned anywhere in there. Yes, that's how good of a movie this is! READ THE "TROLL 3" REVIEW RIGHT NOW... or you might regret it for the rest of your terrible, terrible lives!
Rock legend David Bowie has changed his identity with almost every album. Can you remember all these classic Bowie characters?
Tucker Carlson's idiot brother just called New York mayor Bill de Blasio's spokeswoman a "LabiaFace."
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.