I'll Give You a Box of Chocolates If You Kill Me
I've spent the last seven hours watching, capturing, and reviewing the abomination "Troll 3" just for you, the readers. Please excuse me if today's news update isn't up to par. I'm going to throw myself in front of traffic and pray my brain is first to get crushed.
GREEN FOAM HATS!
You'll notice "trolls" are not mentioned anywhere in there. Yes, that's how good of a movie this is! READ THE "TROLL 3" REVIEW RIGHT NOW... or you might regret it for the rest of your terrible, terrible lives!
RT mobile games reviewer Jeff Glukhov quits RT after being forced to give pro-Russian reviews to various iPhone and Android games.
Be on the lookout for these armed and dangerous oldsters.
Kurt Cobain and gang finally learn the truth behind Morton Downey's evil scheme.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.