Internet critic James Rolfe recently caused some controversy by declaring his refusal to review this summer's upcoming Ghostbusters movie--a completely mature and level-headed response to a mass-market comedy if I've ever heard one. Over the past week, Rolfe's stance provoked endless discussion, something my own content has failed to generate despite the fact that I've refused to review hundreds, if not thousands of movies in my lifetime. That's right: Ghostbusters is no different. Even though as a dork on the Internet I'm apparently obligated to review Ghostbusters 2016, I refuse. And the following bullet points should fully outline my watertight defense.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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