[Food. It sustains our pets, but it is more than that. Food is the very thing that drives their behavior. The search for food, the search for something tasty. Why force your pets to languish in the mundanity of literalist meal choice? Allow wUff pre-packaged gastronomic delights to open your pet's senses and transform your pet's next meal into an adventure of whimsy.]
Catch-22Life always leaves you a choice, but choosing takes away all the fun. Why not let your pet have it all with this unique sea medley.
Anti-griddled, rendered-tuna ice cream, radish-essence whitefish entrails formed into "salmon" medallions, sectioned, and served with micro-dandelion greens, a cold-dehydrated tallow crumble, and a sauce of peanut oil and brown gravy.
When you picture a hamburger who are you picturing? There are a thousand different ways to make a good burger, but the wrong way is definitely the right way in the wrong hands. This reverse burger will change the way you conceive of this classic American dish.
Browned corn bun with tomato-flavored sesame seeds, a bone meal patty formed from our in-house bone meal bread recipe, and a specially-prepared ketchup meat glaze, providing the flavor profile of a burger using only more corn blended with a gluey rendering paste
Chef's Savory Kitchen Duo
Why settle for one tasty gastronomic surprise when you can have two at the same time? This dish is perhaps our most playful, combining unexpected tastes with unexpected textures.
Xanthan gum and sheep's eye aspic with dollop of whipped beef tissue extract and a garnish of unidentified rodent glands dehydrated and colored to resemble mint. The other half of the duo consists of a beet infused with the distinctive cannibal favor of shelter kill and a spherical chicken cyst containing a "pus" of three different types of fish blood.
[wUff is available wherever extremely fine pet foods are sold. Our new line of "chocolate" dog treats will be coming soon to American stores. Based on the French commitment to companionship, Amis are a little bite of heaven for your dog that you can take on the road.]
Want to take part in our much-publicized trade in program to swap an old tablet or video game for in-store credit? Great! We just need your license, home phone number, email address, work number, and your fingerprints. We might even take a mugshot of you.
Are you ready to be consistently depressed by how you're throwing your money and life away? Check out Loot Crate's 2015 lineup of upcoming crates!
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