"I returned home from a year of traveling, only to find my wife...
"... playing the close buttock game with a black slave! When she fixed her eyes on me she grabbled a cup of water and mumbled incomprehensibly over it.
"I wandered the streets as a dog until a man found me and took me to his home.
"His daughter was able to see through the curse, and made a potion to restore me.
"I asked her if I could use her potion to turn my wife into a beast.
'Sure. Just sprinkle some on her and say, "Come forth in the shape of a-" and then whatever animal you want to turn her into.'
"I snuck into our home while she was sleeping, and chose the animal most befitting her.
"''Come forth in the shape of a
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The valor pigs have been looking over your uniform and trying to find fault. Time to show them how army is done!
Video games make it socially acceptable to point at Jane
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