"I returned home from a year of traveling, only to find my wife...
"... playing the close buttock game with a black slave! When she fixed her eyes on me she grabbled a cup of water and mumbled incomprehensibly over it.
"I wandered the streets as a dog until a man found me and took me to his home.
"His daughter was able to see through the curse, and made a potion to restore me.
"I asked her if I could use her potion to turn my wife into a beast.
'Sure. Just sprinkle some on her and say, "Come forth in the shape of a-" and then whatever animal you want to turn her into.'
"I snuck into our home while she was sleeping, and chose the animal most befitting her.
"''Come forth in the shape of a
Hope you're hooked on Strict Picnic's storytelling; he'll be sharing many more on the SA Forums!
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Jeff Foxworthy has awakened to the new flesh to tell some redneck jokes.
Photoshop Phriday showcases the tremendous image manipulation talents of the Something Awful Forum Goons. Each week they tackle a new theme, parodying movies, video games, comics, history, and anything else you can think of. If you want in on the action, join us on the Something Awful Forums!