Guido Sarducci doesn't even want his record collection anymore. You can have it.
Hamish Campbell's car broke down on the interstate. It was really cold and he didn't have a phone or any outerwear. Out there all alone, miles from a callbox, Hamish Campbell started to wonder if grandpa would be proud of him and how out of it grandpa was the last time he saw him alive.
ixalarx is just so frustrated this image won't let him out of the friend zone. But then no one ever does.
j00pY is haunted every day by regret upon regret and profound shame over what he has become.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
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