Unkempt does a fine job delivering my newspapers!

Baxatrax is all about having a good time and making sure everybody gets their fair share of cake.

Batsarse is worth twice his weight in lumber and he has a certificate to prove it.

Bloody Hedgehog is fairly heroic for making this image, emblematic of man's limitless potential to kick ass in unique ways.

Thanks again to the Something Awful Forum Goons for making these images. Thanks to Sighrax for taking a break from his busy schedule of posting 200 times a day on our forums to ghostwrite some of the more perplexing comments this week. Stop on by next Phriday when we take pictures of our bodily defects and ask you to diagnose them! You won't be sorey! Get it? No? Okay!

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

More Photoshop Phriday

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.

  • Helping Your Real Friends Move

    Helping Your Real Friends Move

    A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.