The breadgunner looks pretty much like what you'd expect from the name. As such, this character doesn't require a lengthy explanation, but theme-starter ursa_minor wrote one anyway!
"Nobody chooses to be a Breadgunner. Who would? No, no, it's the type of occupation that finds you. No matter how hard you run, no matter how hard you hide.
We all know human nature, and we all know some of us are drawn to the darker side of bread, like inverse-moths to a lightbulb that gives off darkness instead of normal light even though it's been turned on. The lightbulb is supposed to do that. It's expected to give off darkness, and it doesn't even weird out the people who installed it. It's a slippery slope that they've greased themselves. One day you're practicing kneading drills in your Mom's basement, the next day you're teaching teenage rebels in B.F.E. how to bury roadside bagels for dirty money. It happens so fast, like a really fast fever dream that seems to take forever...
I've been hired by governments, secret government agencies, secret governments, secret agencies, NASCAR teams, secret NASCAR teams, and even Japanese people. It's all covert; even the secret stuff. However, when you're in my business, the Press is a necessary evil, a monkey on your back, a bird in your coffee. Constantly present like some sort of gnat that is always buzzing around your head, but is also somehow keeping your head from blowing apart via some unexplained physical anomaly. Maybe it's gravity. Maybe it's real life."
Gentle creature Mark Zuckerberg informs you that he enjoys his dog and wife the normal human amount. That he has a plan. That he will be Gentle Leader.
Afraid of ideas and free speech? Well then you better not read this article, coward.
Candles scented like Destiny planets - increases KDR by 26%!
Photoshop Phriday showcases the tremendous image manipulation talents of the Something Awful Forum Goons. Each week they tackle a new theme, parodying movies, video games, comics, history, and anything else you can think of. If you want in on the action, join us on the Something Awful Forums!