The breadgunner looks pretty much like what you'd expect from the name. As such, this character doesn't require a lengthy explanation, but theme-starter ursa_minor wrote one anyway. Follow him, he speaks in sentences!
"Nobody chooses to be a Breadgunner. Who would? No, no, it's the type of occupation that finds you. No matter how hard you run, no matter how hard you hide.
We all know human nature, and we all know some of us are drawn to the darker side of bread, like inverse-moths to a lightbulb that gives off darkness instead of normal light even though it's been turned on. The lightbulb is supposed to do that. It's expected to give off darkness, and it doesn't even weird out the people who installed it. It's a slippery slope that they've greased themselves. One day you're practicing kneading drills in your Mom's basement, the next day you're teaching teenage rebels in B.F.E. how to bury roadside bagels for dirty money. It happens so fast, like a really fast fever dream that seems to take forever...
I've been hired by governments, secret government agencies, secret governments, secret agencies, NASCAR teams, secret NASCAR teams, and even Japanese people. It's all covert; even the secret stuff. However, when you're in my business, the Press is a necessary evil, a monkey on your back, a bird in your coffee. Constantly present like some sort of gnat that is always buzzing around your head, but is also somehow keeping your head from blowing apart via some unexplained physical anomaly. Maybe it's gravity. Maybe it's real life."
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
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