As part of my plea bargain, I assigned the goons with the juicy theme of doing mean things to the myriad of tourist stink holes the world has to offer. For some reason they complied, and I now present to you a wealth of places you won't want to visit ever again, assuming that you've visited them in the first place.

Here is the starter image I used to set the bar low:

In spite of that image, I assure you there is still just reason to continue reading.

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  • GLUT OF DOGS

    GLUT OF DOGS

    TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851

  • THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.

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