This is Chase. Chase is kind of special. You see, he is one of the few people who wrote me an angry email, twice, and then realized it was all a farce. Come on Chase, what's wrong with you for Christ's sake?
Chase, look, it was all a joke! Please don't hurt me. I'm going to call the police. MARTHA PICK UP THE PHONE AND DIAL 911 NOW!!!
Oh Chase, will you ever learn?
It's okay, Chase. It's all over now.
On the next page there is something about something.
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
Truth Media seeks to lure out the brainless zealots mindlessly spewing words about faceless companies and products they have no relation to. Why do folks get so worked up over such inconsequential things? Truth Media is here, not to discover the answer to this, but just to make fun of them.