This is Chase. Chase is kind of special. You see, he is one of the few people who wrote me an angry email, twice, and then realized it was all a farce. Come on Chase, what's wrong with you for Christ's sake?
Chase, look, it was all a joke! Please don't hurt me. I'm going to call the police. MARTHA PICK UP THE PHONE AND DIAL 911 NOW!!!
Oh Chase, will you ever learn?
It's okay, Chase. It's all over now.
On the next page there is something about something.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Truth Media seeks to lure out the brainless zealots mindlessly spewing words about faceless companies and products they have no relation to. Why do folks get so worked up over such inconsequential things? Truth Media is here, not to discover the answer to this, but just to make fun of them.