From: "Thomas Z"
Subject: i tHiNk U r A fAgoT!!!! i BeT u NeVeR pLaY gTa Sa ****ING RaCiSt 0/10 LUESHI IS NOT PLEASED

U oNlY hAtE tHe GaMe BeAuCsE u R a rAcIst!!!!! u SaY iT iS hArD tO dRiVe BeCaUsE U SUX dIcK aNd CaNt eVeN dRiVe In ReAL life!!!!!!!!!!! DOn'T bE a HaTeR! aNd It gRoVE sTreEt rEtArD! nOt Grove Avenue FaGgoT iT nOt iNglEwOoD bAlLeR rAcIsT iT jUsT bAlLeRs! aNd tHaTs nOt ThE eNdInG i BeAt ThE gAmE iN 2 dAyS nErBs! True Crime: Streets of L.A. Is ShIt gTa sA iS bEtTeR!! tHeRe iS aLsO nO lOaD tImEs WhEn I pAlYeD! U mUsT bE pAiYiN' w/ aN XShit!!!!!!! nOw tAkE dOwN tHaT rEvIeW oR i WiLl NEVER Go To YoUr SiTe AnD tEll mY friends aBouT yOu'Re "AWFUL" sIte.

Most likely a fake email but still interesting. Interesting because the question that ultimately comes up is, "Why bother writing this email?" Alternating lowercase and uppercase letters isn't funny no matter what you are doing with them. But let's give this guy the benefit of the doubt and believe that this is in fact a real email. And just for the hell of it let's say that my review was actually what I truly believe. What is going through this guy's head when he writes emails like this? Does he somehow feel like he accomplished something by telling me and my fake review off? Maybe he really did accomplish something today. Maybe Rockstar will see this email and call him up and personally thank him for defending their game like this. Rockstar just might give him a job checking websites for negative reviews about Rockstar developed games and then writing angry emails to those web sites. I truly hope for the best for Thomas Z and wish him the best of luck in the future.

We're almost done here.

From: "phil wall"
Subject: prick

you are one of the following for sure mate:
1. A attention seaking wanker who loves to cause an argument
2. One of these twats who would say something like "the beatles are shit" with no good reasons to back up this comment but thinks he is "different" and going against the crowd
3. one of the fucked up parents who dont know how to raise there kids and beleive they need to be protected from fucking oxygen cause its a bad influence or some shit and try to foce your shitty view of an idealolistic "free" world.
4. a retard who cant play gta and is pissed off so much he feels like slandering it on a website giveing it a frankly poor biased review on a subject you clearly know nothing about. Its carl JHONSON no jordon you moron. Dose it arouse you to piss off so many people. You shouldnt quit the day job yet mate cause you shit at reviewing. Oh hears a interesting fact this game sold 27 MILLION thats MILLION copies in the opening week, which beats most smash hit films and is the highest selling game of all time. thank you for reading this and i hope you die a very slow painful death, fucking moron

Phil wall.

All of the above, mate.

1. I love attention and I love to wank, mate.
2. The Beatles are shit. Do I really believe that or not? Ohhh, better write me an angry email about it, mate!
3. Huh, mate?
4. First of all it's Carl WINSLOW not Jordon you moron, mate.

Listen Phill Wall, I don't know what you're talking about but thanks for writing in, mate.

This is the last one and boy am I glad for that.

From: "Cameron Clark"
Subject: ARE YOU STUPID?

I DON'T CARE IF U READ THIS OR NOT. ALL OF YOU HALO 2 FANNBOYS ARE LOOKING LIKE IGNORANT FOOLS. YOU CALL YOURSELF A REVIEWER????? FIRST OFF THE MAIN CHARACTER IS NAMED "CARL JOHNSON" NOT CARL JORDON. AND LOOKING FOR CARL JOHNSON'S FATHERS MURDERER, YOUR CLEANING UP YOUR HOOD YOU KKK PIECE OF SHIT. PLAY THE GAME NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO MAKE A REVIEW.

P.S. ON EVERY REAL REVIEWING SITE GTA:SA BEAT HALO2 YOU NOOB LITTLE XBOX FANBOY!

OH YA,

FUCK U HALO2 FANBOY

Real reviewing web site? You mean IGN? They frequently whore themselves out to McDonald's and any publisher with a wad of cash and a huge dick to wave around. You mean Gamespy? Their top story on any given day is often about the kind of packaging that video games come in. You mean Gamespot? They will often complain nonstop about a game in their reviews and then give it the highest score they possibly can. How can I trust a web site if I can't even trust their reviews? Why am I such a faggot that I care so much about what some guy in a cubicle in San Mateo thinks about Frogger?!

Who gives a shit though? Video games are one of the least important things in life and I cannot believe that 116 people emailed me to defend a game they had nothing to do with. The fact of the matter is that anyone who crusades against someone else because they had been "wronged" with a few jokes at their expense has nothing better to do and a low sense of self-esteem.

– Zachary "Spokker Jones" Gutierrez

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