im a sexclownmy dick makes a honk noise when you squeeze it and instead of a flower that shoots water my dick cums & im bad at having sex— deg (@degg) November 10, 2012
I just fronted. I feel horrible.— Eli Terry (@EliTerry) November 9, 2012
23 and still haven’t found the right deodorant lets kiss— Tracy Marquez (@tracy_marq) November 9, 2012
How much longer do we have to keep trying— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) November 9, 2012
*mitt leaves stage* *attempts to rip flag pin off lapel, can't* *has to unpin it properly* *throws it at garbage can, misses*— stefan (@boring_as_heck) November 7, 2012
scratching my pit hair with a fork like the little fucking mermaid— Jenny IdStandOnSurly (@JennyPentland) November 7, 2012
Internment Camp Queens Caught Scamming Extra Servings Of Water And Laying Around All Day In Government-Provided Housing
Trying to change history is a terrible mistake. Tearing down all of America's Hitler statues has left us confused about our nation's proud past.
Two wonderful new games let you jump into meat grinders and walk into cactii.
Ben Garrison's Cartoons explained; Part 2!
Everything worth reading from Twitter in one handy, horrible place!