Aw, that one just barely ricocheted off the post. 7/10
Chopin up enemies while progressin a truly unique story and lookin great doing it. 8/10
Using your thumb to control tricks instead of pressing a button is fantastic, but they need to tweak the settings because I can't grind the expanse of the Golden Gate bridge indefinitely while chaining a thousand kickflips and watching a meaningless score fill up the entire screen. 8/10
Yeah, so when is the next Wipeout coming out? 5/10
The main character's Predator hair is longer than the game itself, which isn't half bad if you exclude the bits with the worst trend in video games: timed button-pressing sequences. 7/10
Sort of like Animal Crossing, only without anything that makes Animal Crossing fun. 5/10
Spending $50 at a real carnival to toss basketballs at bent hoops without winning anything will reproduce the exact same feeling that you get an hour after buying this game. 3/10
World In Conflict
I've been telling people for years that if World War III rolls around Alec Baldwin will be involved, and finally I have my vindication. 9/10
As exciting as grandma's photo album; in fact, I think it might be grandma's photo album. 1/10
Guild Wars: Eye Of The North
As a boy I spent much time in this snow fort. 8/10
Eight years after its completion, a programmer comes across the final code for Instinct while organizing a pile of unlabeled discs and realizes he forgot to send it to the publisher. 1/10
The Sims 2: Bon Voyage
Fly your sims to new and exciting places where they can take half hour pisses and eat for hours at a time. 7/10
Monster Hunter Freedom 2
Would be a great game if they could just get that "fun combat" thing down. 6/10
Playing real guitar gets you the ladies, but playing a fake guitar on the DS gets you a multi-million dollar record contract. 6/10
Here's a strategy for anyone making strategy games: research the Tester technology so you can produce units that make sure your shitty game doesn't crash. 2/10
Donkey Kong Jungle Climber
The dudes from Ice Climbers have been available for years, but Nintendo chose to further the insensitive and racist notion that all gorillas climb well. 8/10
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
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