The best thing about being a man is stroking my penis and pretending it is another man's penis.

Yeah, the Internet and houses are nice and all but... I wish we had more trained animals. Sigh.

The Shadow Realm is just a crutch for lazy cartoon writers.

This is also how you do Kegel exercises.

You need at least an bachelor's degree in bio-engineering to fully appreciate Yu-Gi-Oh.

This is one of the actual writers that works on Bratz! It's such an honor to meet you, ma'am. I love your work.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.