Having trouble scoring with those sexy ladies? Check out Fast Seduction 101 Learn 100% proven techniques such as ladder theory theory, g closing, and mental telepathy. Learn how to get women in bed using Jedi mind tricks from the world's best Internet pick up artists. Fast Seduction 101: Because on the dating scene you want to be anybody but yourself.

In the end, just be as creepy about it as possible.

A subset of BTR that is LBGT. Rick H, OBGYN. Otherwise, BYOB.

Also hit a women over the head with a club and drag her back to your cave. This seems to work just as hell.

This shit is more complicated than Dungeons & Dragons and it's just as lame.

Maybe you should've just learned the geography.

He means hypnotize yourself. When I count to 3 you'll think you're a chicken. 1-2-3. Start pecking!

No. If she liked you she would have flashed her labia as a sign of respect and admiration.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.