I used to be a huge fan of the Secretary's Alliance as well until betrayal and mud slinging politics ruined the scene.

A Jurassic Park roleplay?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

That 5'1" 430 pound build of yours should be some sacrifice.

It's tail is more floofy than if the floofiest thing in the world went into an ultra floofing machine on the most floofingest day of the year. And for that reason IT MUST DIE.


Your friends and family hate you.

I don't really understand how "member" is another word for penis.

Please kill me.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.