"Mikey" hasn't left his house in 7 years.

File this one under "things you generally shouldn't admit to even on the Internet" and then throw the filing cabinet in a lake.

Merry Christmas!

Good luck bringing a girl home to your Craftmatic adjustable, pappy.

Yeah, turn that frown upside down!

That's all for this week. Thanks to my forum friends The Admiral, Jedimastafez, Marxux, Mantrain, ClownSuitCowboy, Limestock, FFomega136, Skip Rogers, meat linux, Livehock, Livedock, kazoogirl, Depressing Drawers, Livefox, Godjillaaa, Rick, Machado de Assis, Zeipher, templar187, Last Train to Newark, Liestock, Jumpman16, Livespock, Vile, Electrius, and Inverted Tornado.

Know of a terrible forum that should be featured in a future Weekend Web? Please send me a link!

– Johnny "Doc Evil" Titanium (@fart)

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There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

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