I imagine Zebert lives in a state of constant surprise.


Say, are you actually Frank T.J. Mackey? I liked you more in Magnolia. You were so intense, so forceful, so fictional.


Now you've done it, Zebert. Now you've gone too far for even V3NOM1300, you feminized Marxist you.


You heard the man. Someone must slay Susan Boyle with a jousting weapon. It's the only hope for our species.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • GLUT OF DOGS

    GLUT OF DOGS

    TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851

  • THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.

Copyright ©2016 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.