I feel sorry for today's children.

This girl needs to have her vagina sewed up as soon as possible.

I love making my daughter cry. It's so cute!

Her bloated belly is stuck on the shift key no doubt.

Oh no! I went to my GLS and she said I have to BML or GBI and I was like OMG. My DS spoke to my ILS and he said AME HLS BM. OLME BS DS CGT.

These pregnant cows are just so exciting.

Looking for a babysitter on the internet? Oh well, your funeral.

It definately has nothing to do with the fact that you're as big as a house.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fandangling Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fandangling Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'

  • Enter: the Lead Loremaster

    Enter: the Lead Loremaster

    I've been wanting to meet you all for the past few weeks, but I guess I cut an intimidating figure. I'm the new guy, with the cool job you've all surely been gossiping about. Yep, I'm the Lead Loremaster, and I'm here to enrich everything we do with much-needed lore.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.