Don't worry, whatever the doctor says is just a humble suggestion.

Some women will harvest the condom sperm to get themselves pregnant and trap you into a relationship or an eighteen year commitment on child support. The solution is to keep a little tabasco on the bedside and mix it in with the sperm in the condom. If the woman tries to salvage your sperm she will get more than she bargained for! Don't think it doesn't happen. I must give credit to an unknown listener of the Tom Leykis show for that little gem.

You can get cancer from just about anything these days, especially from televsion signals and love.

Get the president on the line! We've got a code red! I really feel sorry for the cat in this situation. He's definately smarter than the woman who's having the baby and yet the cat can't do a damn thing about it. That's democracy for you.

Andrea hordes the KFC while her children go hungry. Then she eats her children.

My designated hitter is on the disabled list.

Fuck you.

Yes your whole family is going to die unless you sacrifice him to our Lord Jesus Christ.

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