The Hawaiichair is a lapdance/hula hoop simulator, that uses patented "We Strapped a Loud Boat Motor to the Bottom of an Office Chair" technology to help you think you're losing weight, fast. Unlike every other scam exercise machine that advertises you don't actually have to work out, this one had the audacity of saying you can just use the device anywhere. Using a Hawaiichair in front of your family isn't embarassing enough - they ask for you to use it at work, at meetings, and Nascar venues.
The human testimonials on the infomercial are done by fat people and victims of car crash . The fat people aren't any less fat, but they do claim it stops all chronic pain. They also claim Hawaiichair will cure diabetes, couch potatoes, and being old.
For the full Hawaiichair experience, be sure to pick up the Hawaiichannel, read the Hawaiibook, and have your family laugh at your lack of shame.
Facebook must remain unflagging in its vigilance against titties even in these troubled times of rising fascism.
It needs to consume human tissue! It needs to speak to your manager!
Reason 9: Ongoing mechanical issues with the internal Superman 64 fog machine.
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