Kernel Poppy's Kidzone, submitted by Dan. Why yes, this is yet another scary and frightening site dedicated to children. We sure don't have enough of those! This site features the unusual mascot, Kernal Poppy, an actual kernal of corn!
I am yellow
I am corn
When I came to life
I had no clue
about my prospects
as a food
So I studied hard
and began to see
There were many things
I could be
If destiny was mine to choose
It meant I had a duty, too
I knew I was tasty and naturally sweet
So I decided to be a healthy treat!
I have no idea what this teaches kids. I assume it just tells them that no matter what they do, they will be eaten alive. Of course with corn, that's not necessarily the last stop on the journey of life. We won't go into that, though. At least this site hasn't been updated in ages. I guess that's a good thing.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.