Global Petroleum, submitted by Mkarman. It's finally happened. Someone has actually designed a site so poorly that I actually cannot bring myself to read it closely enough to figure out what the actual content is. I believe that the site is the homepage of a company that makes some sort of oil supplements for cars. I honestly don't know how close to the mark that is.
Conventional lubricants are based primarily on maintaining a high strength of the oil film itself agains breakthrough, or upon introducing a protective deposit between the moving surfaces to resist break-through.
"GLOBAL 20K ULTRA PERFORMANCE " ADDITIVE adds some entirely new and unique characteristics to lubricants.
It not only enhances the higher film strength of any lubricant but it impregnates the steel itself metallurgicallary at its mating friction surfaces. Test results show both lower friction and longer wear life to a very noticeable degree.
One interesting thing about this site is that it's very concerned about its integrity. If you try to right click on an image, a warning pops up that tells you, "Security warning: this is a protected site. You can't right click. Trying again will freeze your screen!" That's a serious threat, but I use Windows XP, so I'm used to my screen freezing. I impetuously right clicked again. Lo and behold, that brings up a new message that says, "You must now restart your computer!" Actually, you don't have to restart anything. Your internet browser does actually freeze up and won't close without ctrl+alt+delete, but that's about the extent of the damage. Oddly enough, that warning doesn't appear on every page of the site. On some pages, you can right click on whatever you damn well please, which is how I managed to procure this beautiful graphic:
The above picture is called "Marketing" for some reason. It doesn't exactly scream "marketing" to me, but then, I'm not in the petroleum business. The site seems to be constructed in the interest of creating as many new pages as possible, each one more insane than the last. Some speak to you, other use all manners of annoying gifs, others have scrolling text or flying images that either make it next to impossible to actually read the content of the page or cause the borders of the page to stretch, making your browser window scroll all over the place. Some of the links open up new browser windows when the content isn't nearly large enough to justify it, others don't even though it would have made sense. Then there's this doozy. Wait for it to load all the way. It may actually be the worst single page ever created. All in all, Global Petroleum is like a Rubik's cube where every tile is a different color - the more you try to make sense of it, the more frustrating it becomes until you want to throw it against a wall and watch all of the plastic squares fly all over the place. Don't try to see everything in one sitting. Your poor, delicate human brain won't be able to withstand the strain. Mine sure as hell couldn't.
Oh, there's also a guestbook. I'm not sure why an oil site would really need a guestbook, but there it is. Yaybo.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.