The Personal Page of Scott Meenen N3SJH, submitted by Josh. I don't know what kind of jerk Scott Meenen thinks he is putting a home page up on the Internet and assuming anyone is going to care about it, but he put it up anyway. He acts like he's trying to attract women with all this info about him, which would make me uneasy if Scott weren't such an unbelievably ugly turd. In addition to listing a bunch of crud about himself that not even his mom would give a sack of turnips about he also lists a bunch of women like any of them would give him the time of day. Let's take a look at his list of "hotties".

  1. Kirsten Johnson (Third Rock from the Sun)
  2. Camryn Manheim (The Practice)
  3. Jane Krakowski (Ally Mc Beal. I saw her on Celebrity Jeopardy and she squeaked )
  4. Natalie Merchant
  5. Stevie Knicks. Due to have a tour soon.
  6. Kate Mulgrew (Star trek Voyager). It is a shame the series had to end.
  7. Andrea Parker (The Pretender) Off the air but in reruns. I thought her strong personality was attractive for the same reason a mild personality would be too.
  8. Gillian Anderson (The X-Files)
  9. Lucy Lawless (Xena)
  10. Gweneth Paltrow: I saw her on Jay Leno on October 30th 2001 and was very impressed by the fact that she eats as healthy as she does. I get the impression that most stars don't take care of themselves. That must be why she looks like she is still so young. I wish she would take me out to dinner. (Not in this lifetime).
  11. Jody Foster (I saw her on Celebrity Jeopardy and she said "ye ha"). I also saw "The Panic Room" recently and she was good in that.
  12. Renee Zellweger: I read that she Shops at The Home Depot which is ok by me.
  13. Lamya Jezek (looks like lisa Loeb) : (AKA Cheryl Holt on Boston Public of FOX) "feisty thing".
  14. Jill Hennessy : I love you as Jordan and hope you get your wish and become the next "Bond Girl". I also vote you as most likely to see this message. I will find a way to help petition the next producers of the "Bond" series to consider you.

Hmmmmm...that's a pretty horrible list Scott. Let's look at it again and I'll tell you what I think of your "hotties".

  1. Kirsten Johnson - horrible pudding face
  2. Camryn Manheim - scary fat
  3. Jane Krakowski - I've met her, she smells like fennel and has awful coffee teeth
  4. Natalie Merchant - dyke
  5. Stevie Knicks - watch out for the mummy's curse (arthritis)
  6. Kate Mulgrew - Too Star Trek; wouldn't nail
  7. Andrea Parker - she's packed on the pounds since her show got cancelled, serious case of donut ass
  8. Gillian Anderson - face looks too "melty"
  9. Lucy Lawless - can bench more than me, ruled out
  10. Gweneth Paltrow - bagged her, she was okay
  11. Jody Foster - more frigid than Mount Awesome
  12. Renee Zellweger - she's okay but she always looks like she's been crying and that only works for Asian girls
  13. Lamya Jezek - never heard of her, her name sounds fat
  14. Jill Hennessy - doesn't wipe good

So Scott, hate to break it to you bud but your list is bunk, and not only is it bunk but the women still wouldn't let you buy them a drink even if it was a punch bowl full of lobster and caviar. Give it up, go back to your Ham radio, and leave the bagging to real heroes like me.

– Daring

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful