Free Turkmenistan

Free Turkmenistan, submitted by Saparmurat Niyazov/Turkmenbasi. Not everyone out there is as smart as me. Apparently this group called "Free Turkmenistan" isn't tuned in to the Saparmurat feel-good vibe and cite Turkmenistan's less than stellar human rights record as clear evidence of Sappy's brutality. Let me be the first to say that you can't make a delicious carpet and Ahalteke horse egg omelette without breaking the skulls of a few former government ministers living in exile.

Vienna, 7 August 2003. Avdy Kuliev, a former Foreign Minister of Turkmenistan who founded in exile the United Democratic Opposition of Turkmenistan, was brutally beaten near his home on the outskirts of Moscow on the afternoon of 6 August 2003 by a young man who waited for him there.

Oh, shut up your crybabies! You go on and on about Saparmurat this and political prisoners that, but you don't see Sappy not smiling do you? In the immortal worlds of the great dictator of my heart:LET ME SEE WHAT I'VE WORKED FOR IN YOUR SMILING FACES!

Grin and bear it you fruity commies!

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)