THE REPTILIANS: WHO ARE THEY REALLY?, submitted by imel007. Do you ever stop what you're doing and ask yourself "The Reptilians, who are they really?". No? Well entertain me for a second and pretend that you've always wondered who those Reptilian guys are and why are they such dickweeds. Well this site has everything you ever wanted to know about the super secret plot of the Reptilians to take over the planet and eat all our crickets or something. Also the bright red background will destroy your eyes to force you to heighten your telepathy powers and combat the foul beasts. I really tried to read this whole page but only made it through a few paragraphs before my eyes started to tear up and I had to soak them in soothing ice water.HOLY MOSES IT'S HEADED THIS WAY

"Between now and 2007 AD, our planet will have a 70 degree pole shift. Saudia Arabia will become the new North Pole. In the next 10 years, these are the changes we'll be witness to:

1. We will all become telepathic.

2. The Andromedan Council has ordered all extraterrestrial presences on the planet, in the planet, and on the moon to be completely out of our space. They want everything that's ET, benevolent or not, off the planet. This will be very interesting since there are over 1,833 reptilians living in our planet and over 18,000 grays living underground and on the moon. The council would like to see how we will live with each other when we are not being manipulated by ETs, as we have been for the last 5,723 years."

Cool, only three more years until I can shoot lasers from my mind, and then we can kick all these freeloading aliens off the planet. I mean, they just come over here on their little rubber ships and expect us to pay for their health care and housing? That's bullshit, and if they are staying on this planet and keep badmouthing us I just have one thing to say, love it or leave it brother. Go over to Jupiter and sit under your sun lamp or whatever Reptilians do all day. Also on the site is a email from a lady named Pamela Stonebrook who is defending her book against her fellow conspiracy nut jobs they accused her of endorsing leaving your body and having astral sex with Reptilians! Burn the heretic!

"I do not teach people to get out of their bodies to have sex with Reptilians. I have been astral projecting for nearly two decades, and for over a year now I have been able to consciously control and direct my experiences to unravel and confront "many" life issues. We have access to those interdimensional realms and they are within our reach to explore. I believe it is the cutting edge of experiential consciousness exploration.

I have met loved ones who have transitioned, gone to past lives, and what I perceive to be future lives. I have seen other entities that I cannot/will not even begin to label, much less, discuss on the internet. These experiences are sacred to me and I'm learning not to offer them up to an onslaught of viciousness and ridicule. I will, however, tell you that in the astral state, I have had healings, and have floated in a sea of knowingness that is beyond thought...overwhelmed with love, acceptance and forgiveness...as close to the "source" as I have ever felt. I must admit that it is my primary target when I consciously get out."

Whatever lady, I just work here. Anyway, this site has days worth of laughs on it, but I recommend you copy all the text and paste it to a readable program and save your eyes a near fatal encounter of red. I now have a horrible headache and I'm going to lay down and pray for death. Curse you Reptilians! Curse you to hell!

– Reid "Frolixo" Paskiewicz

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful