Hercolubus!!, submitted by scrump. Boy have I got news for you! As of this instant, Earth is going to continue to be in extreme danger! It's not because of George Bush or terrorists or reality TV, but rather an amazing red planet called Hercolubus. You see, this Hercolubus is more massive than a fatass Jupiter, and packs a gravitational punch capable of tearing our planet to smithereens.

"We are going to talk about Hercolubus, or Red Planet, which is approaching Earth. According to some accounts, scientists have even weighed it, and they say it weighs so many tons and has a certain diameter as if it were a child’s toy. But this is not the case. Hercolubus, or Red Planet, is five or six times larger than Jupiter; a huge giant that nothing can stop or divert."

All we can do now is pray, and perhaps try to reason with Hercolubus. All I know is that we simply cannot give in and let this mammoth consume the world we plan to leave to our children. Please Hercolubus, have mercy on us!

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2023 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful