"Chill Sergeant", rhymes with "Drill Sergeant". Thanks to the Something Awful Forums for pointing this one out, and for the ensuing pages of jokes!
give me twenty, maggot!
*trainee Maggot (friendly nickname) hugs sergeant for 20 full seconds*
Chill Sergeant: Hup-One, let's have some fun! Hup-Two buckle my shoe! Hup-Three come Hup with me! Bring it on down
Recruits: Fun Shoe Hup with you, Fun Shoe, HUP MORE!!!
sergeant: i will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!
me: hey i think i heard that line before. its from fullmetal jacket right
sergeant: haha yeah. great movie
I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose! That's really impressive, remind me to have you show me that one day
Saint Isaias Boner
Sarge: Sleep tight, ladies, because tomorrow we're getting up at the crack of dawn for a 5-mile run
private: that's too early for me, can we do it later?
Chill Sergeant(whispering): Excuse me, I hate to be a bother but... we're all waiting on you to wake up for a 10 mile march
Recruit: **Hrungh** (rolls over and goes back to sleep)
Chill Sergeant (still whispering): Ok everyone let's all quietly return to our cots and sleep this one in. Sweet dreams! I hope you all know I mean it, too
fall in! *takes hit from a bong hanging around his neck*
I don't know but I've been told
Puppy noses are mighty cold
(tghere are happy doggies walking along with the marching trainees)
This space-age device is a cardboard box with two holes in it. The operative sticks a hand in one end. The contact inserts a hand in the other end. With both hands shielded from prying eyes, a secret handshake can commence.
I'm ruined. Every dream in my life has been dashed. Fantastic product! Would buy again!
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.