Anyways, here's the aftermath of the hat. It was barely stable enough to put on the plate for the picture. I added a big thing of grapes to make up for the bunch lost in the parking lot early on.






While I don't care for pineapple and grapes, I just diced it all up into manageable small bits and ate them up after I got back. However, this was really easy and not nearly as gross as I thought it was going to be, especially since I hadn't eaten all day. So I decided to do the next best thing with what was left - blend it.

The leavings (sans pits & an orange peel i threw away early) & remainder of fruit I have to eat for breakfast tomorrow:

To conclude: Don't ask GBS to do your homework, don't engage in sexual intercourse with an Erlenmeyer Flask (it won't work), don't open your stupid mouth, and most importantly don't eat a goddamn hat. Thanks for playing!

– Chris "Petey" Peterson

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The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

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