AYBraham

Around Noon, I gathered my bearings, bananas and berries and headed down to the Great Mall of America with my photographer.




After a few last minute adjustments (being startled by the car behind me, thus losing the grapes of the crown) and realizing that I forgot to bring a towel, we were off to find Great Memorial Day Savings, in honor of those who died in the Black Christmas wars of years past.




Plenty of people noticed & commented on my poise, grace and intriguing sense of style.


But the look wasn't perfect. Fortunately, I was able to improvise a solution. Say hello to the newest member of the Hat Club!

All of that window shopping sure made me hungry. While it's clear I could stand to lose a few pounds (particularly in the paunch, jaw and Fruit Hat areas), I decided to treat myself.





More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2020 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.