google THIS

died while working on a car that I started working on several centuries ago


What if you took a bullet for the president, but you lived, but you suffered from anxiety and panic attacks and when you were up on stage and the president was presenting you with the medal of honor, you freaked out and had a heart attack and died right there?


imagine, if you will, amassing a great merchant fleet and propelling yourself from the slums to a wealthy and powerful position

you live in constant fear that some backstabbing charlatan will come take it from you

but you hold on and push through the stress and responsibility because your name will mean something

you donate huge sums in hopes that they build statues of you and name bathhouses in your honor

many sleepless nights are filled with the grim understanding that one day your name will be uttered for the very last time

you devote your life to greatness, however it may come

suddenly, a rumbling, then blackness.

two thousand years later, a second-year archaeology major on an internship-trip to italy uncovers your charred face

"lol bill check this dude out he's picking his nose"


Dying at work is a scary thought, especially if its at a job you hate. Finish ringing up some horrible customers, get a heart attack and die on the way to the break room.


Swimming upstream, caught by a bear


I have the coolest death ever lined up but I worry that I might accidentally die eating some yogurt on the way there.

no they will not

cop 1: It looks like the victim died sitting in front of a piece of paper with "1+2 = ???" on it.
cop 2: Report from the mortician just came back. Looks like the cause of death was a stress-induced brain haemorrhage


central, this is unit 501
--go ahead 501--
looks like we got a dead human latina female here - pretty cute too. died of a tortilla chip cut to the hand. Must've gotten a little too excited about giving extra chips to someone. Damn shame...

no they will not

Detective 1: based on the preliminary autopsy and a cursory examination of the victim's youtube history it appears he was watching a top 10 hayao miyazaki films video and when they put they wind rises above spirited away he screamed so hard his heart exploded
Detective 2: damn shame


officer: Any luck piecing this case together?

detective: I think I've fathomed this out. Next to the shriveled body was a note. All it said was "so hungey for burriot."


- So what were you doing when you died?
- Having a heart attack


"Well at least he died doing what he loved: nothing in particular."

– David "g0m" Dolan (@g0m)

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