Uncle Jenkins raises me up.

Thankfully, Veinor didn't let his creepy foot fetish ruin this fine contribution.

WhenQTipsAttack does his talking with his fists. And also one other body part which I'm not allowed to name.

Finally, Zenzirouj shows us the safest and most effective way to dispose of a foe in the heat of battle.

At ease solider, this Goldmine is being shipped off to the archives. I'm raising my right hand to salute all the forum goons that helped with contributions this week, so typing this conclusion will take longer since I can only use my left hand. I'm well aware that this article was biased towards America, so next week's Comedy Goldmine will look at the lighter side of life for terrorists. How does that crazy party animal Waleed feel about season 4 of LOST? Check out his answer here next week, you won't want to miss it!

– Craig "Russ" Russell

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