Phobia was my favorite character from the hit TV show Friends, but today in the Goldmine we're focusing on irrational fears. Experts say our environment and experiences determine what we are afraid of, as the only two fears we are born with are being scared of sudden loud noises and falling over. This is why you should never throw a surprise party on an ice skating rink. Don't be afraid to check out the following contributions from a harmless bunch of cowards, the forum goons.

Killy gets things started with a depiction of the fear of long words, as well as an image showing the frightening phobia of peanut butter sticking in the mouth known as Arachibutyrophobia.

"Put a cork in it and stop whining" is a sure fire way to cure people of Oenophobia, according to 37ArmsToBind.

Let's all have a whale of a time with Cheap Shot and his fear of Free Willy known as Cetaphobia.

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful