In the event of a water landing, the College of Art and Architecture can be used as a flotation device.


The basement of the engineering building is home to the Minotaur. His office hours are 4-6 Tue, Thur, & Fri.

Ace of Baes

If an art class you're in has a nude model, that is NOT a go head to start taking off your clothes.

google THIS

if no one else in the class is a nude model, you're it, so start doing your job

Chill la Chill

how do you become a professional college art class/school nude model?


I tried just showing up naked in hopes they'd offer me the job, but somehow nobody even seemed to notice i was naked and then i couldn't find where I left my pants and it turned out i had a big test that day and i hadn't even gone to one lecture!!


There is no such thing as the math lab, and if you are in the math lab you have made a terrible mistake.


Text books are NOT the size of phone books, nor do they have Yellow Pages printed on them.


there are ghosts in the dorms that will violate the community bathrooms every night of the week and at times you will be vaguely aware that you are one of them


The friends you make in college will last a lifetime, but the enemies you make you will battle endlessly in future lives. Only you can lay down your blade and break the cycle!

I Was The Fury

Make sure to avoid the student health services building. Your body can handle any diseases that you encounter while living in close proximity to the demographic of people least likely to seek medical care for any reason. Your reputation can NOT handle the humiliation of going to the doctor and being labeled a quitter

literally this big

College diplomas make for great tinder in an emergency survival situation, but you're still probably better off just trying to light $40,000 in cash.

– David "g0m" Dolan (@g0m)

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2021 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful