I can't believe a year has passed already. When I first started writing for Something Awful, I thought I'd immediately run out of ideas, which seems so weird now because I'm usually wrong on predictions but I was spot on with that one.
Thank you for reading my articles, thank you for all the nice emails that made me want to continue, and thank you for all the mean ones that made me want to get better (and die.)
Here's my first update. It's about me having butt worms. It is one of my favorites. Too bad the formatting is terrible.
I have used my bot to create Olive Garden commercials. This is a bot I have. Don't question it.
Following America's defeat in World War 3, allied forces uncovered a number of experimental weapon prototypes in the hotel-compound of Trump's loyalist Space Force army. Had the war continued just a few more months, these secret weapons would have changed the course of the war.
Are there arrows in Tomb Raider? "No. Absolutely not."
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!