Princess Peach is my anti-friend.
"Hey guys, Sam Raimi's guy just emailed me and said he was going to make my fanfic into a movie!!" I know this post right here alone could fill your quota of painfully sad things to read for like an entire month, but please stay with me. We have a ways to go.
I used to dream about Muzzy, that language teaching sasquatch thing, even though I never owned the tapes. "Booooonjooour... je suis... la jeune fille...." We never got it on, though.
Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no
You can't kill what's already dead, just like you can't ask to get fat what's already going swimming with its shirt on.
In these contentious political times it is more important than ever to work together in a bipartisan way with the people who said I should be thrown out of a helicopter for being an Antifa terrorist.
This Halloween, log off and visit your friends at the local Halloween Superstore.
Better than expected, and absolute garbage
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