Zack: The DM frowned and slowly crossed off the number printed on the sheet. Beneath it, in cramped digits, he wrote the adjusted number: 614,399,999.
Zack: Of course that's just in this reality. In other realities the number is still at full.
Steve: I like it when people combine stuff from the Bible with stuff from D&D. Like it's sort of cool to imagine Jesus fighting a Balor.
Zack: Jesus in the Blood Wars. There would be a lot of forgiving going on down there.
Steve: What level caster do you think Jesus is when he uses his spell-like abilities?
Zack: I realize we just ran into a 141st level vampire swordsman, but I'm going to go old school on that one. 20th level.
Steve: The Jesus as a young man stuff that was cut out of the Bible was all his dungeon crawls.
Zack: Definitely. Some scrub healer can't self-resurrect. He had to be grinding out encounters in Judea, taking it to some trolls and Pharaohs and whatnot.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.