Zack: Everything is covered with dust. You get the blanket and put out the fire by throwing the blanket onto it.
Steve: I will meticulously clean up all the dust to earn the master's favor.
Steve: And I'm like bending over in my maid outfit so my ripped butt is sticking out and dropping my book bags and stuff to flirt with master.
Zack: The inscrutable machine offers you no feedback.
Steve: I'm going to fix the duct thing then. See what he thinks of that when my boobs are all worked up into a lather.
Zack: Do you even know what boobs are?
Steve: Uh, very funny, yeah. I am something of an expert.
Zack: Alright, while you are fixing the duct you discover an item:
Steve: Oh heck yes! This will come in handy the next time master tries to have romance with me against my will.
Zack: Your master has never tried anything with you except dispensing supplies.
Steve: I will secretly place it in his bedroom next to his regular condoms.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.