Zack: While you are using your enormous sword to scrape blood from your master there is a loud bang.
Steve: "Oh meow no!" I had better investigate this noise.
Zack: A large part of your survival bunker is filled with smoke. You failed to clean the ventilation shaft C14 in a timely manner and it has exploded into the bunker, covering everything with dust even as smoke continues to churn from the ruptured duct.
Steve: Is there a way to put out the fire?
Zack: The bunker has a fire suppression system, but it is toxic so you will need to get a gas mask from the storage closet.
Steve: Alright I do that then and active the fire suppression system.
Zack: The gas mask won't fit over your elf ears.
Steve: Blankets. I can smother the fire with blankets. Are there any blankets?
Zack: All of the bunk blankets are labeled "HIGHLY FLAMMABLE." There are some blankets in the master's bedroom. Do you want to go in there?
Steve: Alright, swinging my boobs all over and fake crying I will enter the master's bedroom to get his blankets.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.