From: "Michael Meredith"
To: Tyler
Subject: Re: MOM! DAD! Parent Alert! Warning!

Yes, In the resources included within the program materials is a listing of the various drugs and their effects upon humans. We have also included the very serious warnings about sniffing of various household products that are having a terrible deadly effect with kids experimentation.

Thank you for your question. I shall ad it to our frequently asked questions page. Best to you,.

Michael J. (Mick) Meredith


From: Tyler
To: "Michael Meredith"
Subject: Re: MOM! DAD! Parent Alert! Warning!

Dear Michael,

Thank you again for your prompt reply. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you took the time to answer my concerns. As a concerned parent, any information I can glean to help me in the war against the forces that would harm my child is good information. I was discussing your program with my wife when she brought up two very good questions.

The first has to do with your reply to my last message. In it you say that the materials include information about all of the drugs and their effects on humans. What my wife wanted to know was whether this information was time sensitive. So, for instance, it might be safer to wait until my son was over the age of eight before letting him try ecstasy. I'm just pulling these numbers out of thin air you understand, I have no idea what the real situation might be. Does your program differentiate between the various stag es of growing up? Are there some drugs that are ok to try early and some that are better left until the teens?

The next question has to do with an article we read in the newspaper the other day about drugs. In it the reporter talked about how some nefarious drug dealers are preying on children like my son by 'lacing' one drug with another. So you think you're trying marijuana but you end up lighting a 'joint' made of cocaine. So a big concern is whether you can be sure that the product you're purchasing is pure. As someone who wants to stay well informed, the prospect of messing with things that might have 'secret ingredients' is a big worry. How can I stay well informed if I don't have all the facts? Obviously, I can't.

So we were wondering whether your material covers any hints and tips for choosing the right supplier or for checking the products to ensure that we're not getting more than we bargained for. Are there certain things to watch out for? Certain reputable organizations that we can be on the lookout for?

Mike, I can't tell you how glad I am to know that there are people like you doing the sort of work that you do. As you can imagine, this isn't the kind of thing we can go to the 'authorities' for. Don't even get me started about Social Services. I'm glad to know that there are private citizens ready to take up the slack that our government has left.

Sincerely,

Tyler Immaly

More Pranks [Email]

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful