Choose the perfect gift (slightly less perfect than the gift certificate perfect gifts) for your loved / liked / despised one from this luxurious selection of pristine and beautiful merchandise! Available for a limited time only (all offers expire in the year 27,198 AD).

the internet was a mistake

Click here for the white text on dark t-shirt OR Click here for the black text on light t-shirt!

Awesome T-Shirt #1: Something Awful: The T-Shirt

Crafted from only the most high quality fibers available (shirt atoms), this is the definitive Something Awful t-shirt, mostly because it doesn't say "Something Awful" on it and doesn't say we're even a website, so nobody will know...

Cover your body with Something Awful by clicking this link!

Awesome T-Shirt #2: City Name Sports Team!

Support every single team in every single town regardless of where you are or where you're going! Women love sports, so if one sees you wearing this, she'll undoubtedly want to fuck the hell out of your dick.

Click here with your mouse and start thinking about how many hundreds you will purchase!

Awesome T-Shirt #3: MoofWear!

The glorious return of Moof's famous "dinosaurs versus rabbits" collection.

Purchase a MoofShirt here!

Awesome T-Shirt #4: A Tribute to Impact Font

What's a better way to give back to the ubiquitous font that has given so much to us, the awe-inspiring Impact font?

Show your support for Impact and how it has changed your life by clicking and buying here!

Awesome T-Shirt #5: RAP

A shirt that says "RAP" on it.

The 10bux Towel!

Be forever reminded that you once spent 10 bux on an internet forum.

First run Murder the Internet T-Shirts!

It's a podcast, now in shirt form!

DOOM HOUSE iPhone Case!

What an... odd looking iPhone case...

Various other stickers and shit here!


I found an online printing store that specializes in sports jerseys, and was able to design some City Name Sports Team jerseys for a very reasonable price (the original ones were like $65!). Check it out: 

Those are incredibly inexpensive! Head on over if you have any interest!

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to offering more of these, despite how much you may protest!

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)

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  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

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