Henchman Status Update (4 of 4)
The status of Time Machine has been changed from ACTIVE to DESTROYED.
Name: Titor Mk. VII (DESTROYED)
Codename(s): Time Machine
Join Date: ?-?-??
Primary Role: Time Traveling
Secondary Role: Flux capacitoring, cocaine smuggling, 80s cruise-in attending
Specialties: Bending the beams of laser pointers, bucket seat reclining, traveling through frigging time what isn't that enough?

Availability: On Hire (hire)
Contracted To: Adverse Interests, LLC.
Term of Hire: 30 days or d/c/f

DESTRUCTION PAYOUT: 1 USD to be deposited into the bank account of John Titor in 8,000 BC

Average Customer Rating: (rate)

Customer Review:

No power, previous renters were smokers

Reviewed by Ziggy
First off, it's a time machine, so I can't really give it less than two scarlet skulls. Second, I have seen better time machines from Mad OBGYNs, let alone Mad Scientists. I don't know who this Titor character thinks he is, but he needs to put a bigger engine in this thing. It took me a good minute to get up to 99 miles an hour. Not exactly the sort of time you want when you're being pursued by a pissed off brontosaurus or (more)

Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:

Having disrupted the peaceful rule of the Eternal Reich, the administrators of Adverse Interests returned to 2009 only to discover that the Time-SS was replaced with T.E.A.M., the Americans were almost as insufferable as those happy good-times Nazis, and humans were replaced with hermaphrodite reptiles. T.E.A.M. agents failed to apprehend the Adverse Interests administrators and executives, but were able to destroy the time machine, which stalled at a stop light and (more)

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

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