Homicide Case - All That Glitters...

The bombshell wife of a movie executive has turned up floating in a Studio City retention pond. The clues lead to the executive's mistress, a dark elf named Hadrea Matterwulf living in a mushroom hut near Bravil.

PRESS to QUESTION flashed on screen.

We pressed

Hadrea Matterwulf

Muthsera?

Cole Phelps

Can the shroom jaw, blueberry. I've got a case that needs crackin' and you're holding my egg cup. So lets drop dill and get to the sniffy whiffy on this bad ball baby.

Hadrea Matterwulf

(scowls horribly)

I don't know what you're talking about, outlander.


PRESS to BELIEVE HADREA MATTERWULF or PRESS to DISBELIEVE HADREA MATTERWULF flashed on the screen

We pressed

Cole Phelps

I believe you and count yourself lucky. The last knife-ear that tried to flim-flam me ended up with the hard frodo, if you get my meaning. Now I want to know what you know about the Tawny Tophalf.

Hadrea Matterwulf

(smiles serenely)

Oh, what a wonderful joke!


PRESS to BRIBE HADREA MATTERWULF or PRESS to FRODO HADREA MATTERWULF flashed on the screen

We pressed

Cole Phelps

(takes out 75 gold coins and lays them on the table)

Maybe this will loosen your sauce. Now let's hear the deets.

Hadrea Matterwulf

(smiles serenely)

The Screen Actor's Guild offers quests and training.If you want to join the Screen Actor's Guild you should try asking Lenny Kaufmann in Calabasas or Herb Mortenstein in Beverly Hills.
Cole Phelps

Right, right, Tawny was a face maker for the picture people. A regular Rita Bonita. Did she know about you and her husband?

Hadrea Matterwulf

(scowls horribly)

I don't know what you're talking about, outlander.

PRESS to BRIBE HADREA MATTERWULF or PRESS to FRODO HADREA MATTERWULF flashed on the screen

We pressed

Cole Phelps

(frodos Hadrea Matterwulf)

I normally wouldn't frodo a twist, but you've got me bugged up all windward.

Stefan Bekowsky

(slams palms on table)

That's bullshit. You can't go frodoing whoever you want. Not even on these mean streets where everything is a double cross and nothing is what it seems.

We blew the case and Bekowsky left us hanging. It was a tough mystery with lots of grisly details, but we're looking forward to taking another stab at it along with all the other cases we didn't get to see.

L.A. Noire will be released May 17th,

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Features / Articles

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful