Trillaphon: Heigh ho, heigh HOLY SHI-
Hydrogen: I thought this was supposed to be a cut-rate evil corporation kind of deal, but hiring actual dwarves to work in your chemical mine can't be cheap.
Trillaphon: It is if you're willing to stoop to hiring Gimli's smelly mouth-breathing cousin Randall and his not-all-there posse of good ol' dwarves from the Moria backwoods, who may or may not have the mental capacity to stop drilling after hitting a rich, fiery vein of pure Balrog.
Hydrogen: "Hey guys, this rock is glowing and also on fire, should I keep jackhammering it, or...? Guys? It kind of looks like it might explode and kill us all? Okay, I'm going to keep going."
Trillaphon: Speaking of workplace safety, I like how their office has a side door that just opens right into the massive cave system full of volatile chemicals and heavy industrial equipment.
Hydrogen: They lost 4 interns to that door before they finally put a sign on the door that said "Bathrooms down other hallway."
Following America's defeat in World War 3, allied forces uncovered a number of experimental weapon prototypes in the hotel-compound of Trump's loyalist Space Force army. Had the war continued just a few more months, these secret weapons would have changed the course of the war.
Extremely proud over here! The bosses took notice and I have been promoted to 20 cages!!
Are there arrows in Tomb Raider? "No. Absolutely not."
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.