Hydrogen: "I'd rather pin the tail on the donkey." Somehow this became a euphemism for cold-blooded murder in the future, I guess?

Trillaphon: I thought this was going to be another rape scene. Small mercies etc.

Trillaphon: That is the happiest collection of ones and zeroes you'll see this side of a movie about dancing penguins in love.

Hydrogen: Oh, it's a "gazer." Not a "beholder" or "looker" or "dumbass cacodemon" or any other copyrighted watching-related things.

Trillaphon: I can't make out her line exactly, but if I had to guess it's something about how she's getting a really good grouping on the wall next to that alien thing that squeals like a pig sitting on a flaming pickelhaube when people shoot blanks at it.

Hydrogen: Personally I'm not surprised that those things are "extremely rare." No way natural selection would let anything that unbelievably stupid-looking get a genetic foothold.

Trillaphon: Uh, thanks Charlie Darwin, but I'm pretty sure it needs those slimy dreads to piss off its mom until she takes a fistful of benzos and passes out on the couch with a box of chardonnay so he can sneak out and go to the objectionable rock concert/psychotropic-fueled hippy orgy/evil rap clown devil seance or whatever confused lonely teenage cacodemons do these days.

Hydrogen: I will admit that eyeball-stalk dreadlocks would be pretty handy if I was surrounded by burned-out hippies trying to ingest half their body weight in peyote.

Trillaphon: By the way, I told a friend just now what we're watching, and he was like "why would that need a sequel?" and when I told him it was a trilogy he just renounced his faith in God.

Hydrogen: I'm sure we'll be reaffirming our faith in the dark lord Satan by the time we get around to the third one of these.

Trillaphon: Nah, I already gave that up after the first one. Is there anything that involves believing in less than nihilism?

Hydrogen: I dunno, maybe they get into that in the third one. Hopefully we'll have willed ourselves out of existence by then though.

Special Effects-8
Music / Sound-7

– Garrett "Hydrogen" Neil and Sean "Trillaphon" Neil (@trillaphon)

More Reviews [Movies]

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2020 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.