"No one in the history of the world has suffered as much as I am suffering right now, laying on my couch under a ceiling fan and unenthusiastically flipping through my streaming service watch lists."

"Gosh, it's hot."

"Is this a 911 situation? Or should I just fire off a flare gun?"

"Wow, it is seriously hot."

"I need to get some work done. It's so humid in here, though. If I touched my computer it would instantly be covered in a layer of finger sweat. I'm probably ruining everything I own just by existing."

"Holy moly, the temperature is too high."

"This is the last thing I want to think about, but it's better to be realistic and prepare: I need to look up how to cut off and eat my leg."

"By golly, the warmth is uncomfortable."

"Is this what it means to be off the grid? Have I gone feral? Even if I return to society I will be forever changed. An outsider."

"Geez, it is hot as heck."

"It's miserable in here. I'll go out somewhere. No. They will all know that I have been sweating. Even if I take a shower right before I leave, they'll know it. Better to suffer in here than to draw all that attention to myself."

"Why don't I live in Scandinavia? It's probably too late now. I should have thought of that years ago."

"We should probably do something about climate change."

"Maybe I should open the windows. Maybe I should open the blinds too. That would make it easier for breezes to blow through the house. Then again, maybe if I open the blinds the sun will heat the house even more. Maybe I should exist in a state where the windows are neither open nor closed, the blinds not drawn or shut, the repair guy not here or anywhere."

"Gosh, it's hot."

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)

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