I have kept my gnaw for weeks but I must softly hiss about the coffee man. Howard the coffee beast. I do not know his frightful desires, but I know his brown poison. The bad bean potion riling up the t...
Top people. The gents and the ladies. Their hands creak as they hold objects more tightly. Their gaits are jerky. They talk at fearsome volumes.
Shhhh. I know, I know. Shhhhh.
He puts the milk into the bean potion. He froths it and sugars it. Honey is for the tea? Honey is for the milk. Shhhh... I do not want him to hear us. Shhhhh. Everyone is too riled presently. Any more riling and things will become terrible. Screaming and jostling everywhere. Missed bed times. Untucked shirts.
The softest, sweetest man to give a vote to is Gentle Creature Zuckerberg, but he has withdrawn into his sensory tank to contemplate temporarily banning the Facebook page of a guy who is trying to form a militia to arrest AOC (the bad letter lady). Instead of that sweetest, gentlest, wide-eyed ambler, please consider casting your votes for... for...
I do not know if he has any ideas but he is very peaceful and quiet. No trouble John I call him. I would call him. I did not call him, but I would inscribe it upon a paper slip and shimmy it under the door of a room he is within. Thank you, John. Very quiet Johnny.
I am not excited by him at all, which is what is needed in these riled times. Thinking about John Delaney makes me want to crawl into my softest duffel and forget my troubles. And they are many, friends. The honey milk does not flow freely. Oh, no. There is excavation near my passages. Klaxons are sounding. I saw a video of someone kicking the headless robot donkey again. S...so upsetting. Do not watch it.
Oh and I have been posting on chitter. This is the website for bugs. I get upset about things on chitter and I cannot think of anything else. Yesterday there was a picture of a person jumping. Disgusting. I... hush now... I refuse to log off. It would be cowardly. I will tell my follower, Lyle, that I am for John Delaney and he will accept John Delaney inside his heart.
Gods of soil watch over him.
I love you, friends.
I love you.
WARNING: This article could have spoilers about the movie Us. I'm not 100% sure.
No one in the history of the world has suffered as much as I am suffering right now, laying on my couch under a ceiling fan and unenthusiastically flipping through my streaming service watch lists.
Includes the world's first images of the hardware!
Everything you need to know about pre-history is in Caveman Ugh-Lympics
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.