let me tell you what happened.

"guys watch this.

hey cat ffffFFFFFFuck youuuuuuu!!!


sittin in the grass. wing borkled. waitin to die.

waitin to die is boring. gonna sing a song.

chirpchirpCHIRPchirpchirpCHIRP whoaaa that's a lotta blood


getting a wicked high off blood loss when some goon grabs me and puts me in his goonsack.

rollin around in the goonsack, thinkin bout robins with bomb ass titties

put me in a tub swabbed some goonpaste on my wing. tried to flap the crap outta there but went into a wicked spiral like some dumbshit crow. man i bet that loud ass crow i know would like to see me now

hey you! stay away from my wife... know your place crow!!!!

man i need to take a fuggin snooze. yeah goon IVE SEEN YOUR VIDEO GAMES sheesh we can chill with some animes later

turn that light off. bird out.


woke up in a cardboard box again. thought i went on a bender with them hummingbirds but my poohole wasn't bleeding. yet

nectar gives me fire cheeks

think i'll just chillax here. i chirpchirpchirp in in comes the food FUDGE YEAH never knew i liked burritos

when i get outta here peeps will ask me if i missed my wife and i'll say yeah but then i'll whisper YEAH I MISSED HER NAGGING THE SHIT OUT OF ME

"hey pick up that stick for our nest" yeah listen that stick's a piece of garbage like yer deadbeat brother. get him outta HERE don't care bout his dead leaves

then when he leaves i'll say "egg-cellent." put that on a t-shirt. THEN GET OUTTA MY WAY CUZ I TANGLED WITH A CAT AND LIVED HOMBRE

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful