We fact-checked his remarks.
|"The pyres of the dead were visible from the stars."|
|"The last of the loyalist warrens have been burned out and all who resist my will have been put to the fire."|
The exalted and pitiless Scourgelord Mandragore, all hail him, is offering a Half Truth.
While every known loyalist redoubt has been cleansed by Mandragore's forces, some pockets of resistance escaped before being discovered and have fled into the toxic wastes of the Brightlands, where once our forebears rained the fires of the gods down upon the Unmaker's legion. Equipped with the Old Race's plague suits, small groups of loyalists may survive the Brightlands for weeks or even years.
|"I will construct my fortress walls from the bones of one billion loyalists and they will stand for one million years."|
Mostly False. While the Osedaxians harvested the bones of 1.6 billion loyalists during the 23 years of the conflict between the Scourgelord and the loyalists, these bones were mostly turned into furniture, relic weapons, and other household items. Perhaps only 200 million complete skeletons remain in the charnel fields of the great battles of the war.
It should also be noted that bones decay, especially in open air, and would last no more than 5,000 years, let alone the one million the Scourgelord claims.
The falsehoods told by Mandragore in this speech bring him to 608 recorded since his ascension to the Throne of Genocide. That breaks the record of 606 previously held by Vermin Profundus, the so-called Maniac of Lies, though his rule was comparatively short-lived.
It remains to be seen if Doom Rippers within Mandragore's retinue will speak out against his recent false statements.
I'm ruined. Every dream in my life has been dashed. Fantastic product! Would buy again!
Astronaut AJ Tucker returns from a long hiatus to offer his insight about the possible "alien probe" spotted zipping through our solar system.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.