You aren't sure what's so special about the opening ceremony, but something is making your heart skip a beat. Perhaps it's national pride, or the ridiculous scene of a man being lifted on wires to light the torch, or maybe it's the hundreds of Asian girls dancing around for three hours. Whatever it is, you're sure there's magic around. Yes, you must compete in the Olympics. This is your chance for fame, for glory, for a girlfriend-an Asian one! On the other hand, your torrents desperately need seeded.

Olympic Aspirations


Do yourself a favor and don't click on any of these buttons down here.

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2020 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.